The Power of the Pause: Embracing Discomfort to Build True Resilience
The Power of the Pause: Embracing Discomfort to Build True Resilience
Are you finding it challenging to get back into the swing of things after the holidays? Maybe you’re feeling the pressure to dive headfirst into the new year with energy and enthusiasm, but instead, you’re secretly daydreaming about a cozy nap. Or takin one. Here’s a thought: what if you don’t push through? What if you pause instead?
Winter itself seems to encourage us to slow down. The trees are conserving energy, animals are hibernating, and even the sun is taking shorter shifts. Nature knows what it’s doing—so why do we humans insist on acting like every season is for blooming, as if we live in an eternal spring? And if the trees know to rest, why don’t we?
The Courage to Stop (Yes, It’s a Thing)
As Adam Grant notes in his book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know:
“The truly valuable skill is... the capacity to stop and recuperate, despite the discomfort of knowing that the work remains unfinished.”
The truth is, stopping is hard. Really hard. We live in a world that celebrates doing, producing, and hustling. We’re obsessed with “productivity” and breaking free from this mindset is difficult. Pausing often feels like failure—like we’re falling behind while the rest of the world speeds ahead. It’s as if taking a break leaves us vulnerable to some unspoken doom reserved for people who aren’t constantly productive, striving to be productive, or at least worrying about being productive every waking moment. But Grant’s insight reminds us that stopping is actually a skill—a brave and valuable one at that. It’s about letting go of that nagging little voice saying, “You should be doing more,” and recognizing that rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
Pausing, however, doesn’t mean you have to abandon your goals or dig yourself into a hole so deep you spend the entire spring clawing your way out. This is about being intentional. It’s not about quitting but about deciding what deserves your attention right now. As Oliver Burkeman in Meditations for Mortals puts it:
“The real measure of any time management technique is whether or not it helps you neglect the right things.”
Neglecting the right things isn’t laziness—it’s strategy. Rest helps you discern between the urgent and the important, so you can focus your energy where it matters most.
Wintering: Nature’s Permission Slip to Rest
Katherine May, in her beautiful book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, puts it this way:
"Plants and animals don’t fight the winter; they don’t pretend it’s not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through."
Let’s pause to consider that. When winter arrives, plants don’t decide to bloom just to prove a point. Animals don’t suddenly develop to-do lists. They adapt. They conserve. They rest.
Imagine a rose blooming in the dead of winter. Would we cheer it on? “Look how productive that rose is. I’m impressed!” Nope. We’d worry about its ability to thrive. Premature blooming might signal that it’s using energy it can’t spare, leaving it vulnerable to illness and the elements. Like that rose, we thrive when we respect the natural rhythm of rest, saving our energy for the appropriate seasons of growth.
Why Pausing Feels So Hard
Stopping often feels unnatural because we live in a culture that ties productivity to self-worth. To stop in the middle of a project or leave an email unanswered feels almost criminal. But as both May and Grant remind us, rest isn’t a withdrawal—it’s an investment.
When we pause, we allow ourselves to recalibrate. Like a field left fallow for a season, we return stronger, more creative, and ready for what lies ahead.
Practical Ways to Pause (Without Digging Yourself a Deep Hole)
Pausing doesn’t mean abandoning your goals. It means creating space for renewal so you can engage more fully in your work and life. Here are several ways to embrace wintering and incorporate pauses into your routine:
Honor the Season: Take cues from nature. Slow down, reflect, journal, or curl up with a book (or audiobook). Guilt-free.
Schedule Downtime: Add it to your calendar and treat it like a work meeting. “Sorry, I can’t. I have a nap scheduled at 2.”
Take Micro-Breaks: Step away for five minutes to meditate, stretch, or enjoy a cup of tea. You’ll be amazed at how these little pauses add up.
Neglect the Right Things: Ask yourself, “What can wait?” Not everything is urgent. Focus on the priorities that truly matter and give yourself permission to let go of the rest.
Create a Ritual: Develop a personal practice to mark your pauses—light a candle, take a mindful walk, or write down your worries and set them aside.
The Gift of the Pause
Grant, May, and Burkeman all highlight the same truth: pausing is powerful. It’s not about laziness or procrastination; it’s about giving yourself the time and space to replenish your energy and focus. Just as winter prepares the earth for spring, a well-timed pause can help you realign with your goals and values.
This winter, challenge yourself to embrace the discomfort of stopping. Remember, the work will still be there when you return—but when you do, you’ll be stronger, clearer, and more resilient.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some important things to neglect. 🌟
References and Additional Info:
1.) Grant, Adam. Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know. Viking, 2021.
Insight on the value of pausing and recuperating, even when tasks remain unfinished.
2.) May, Katherine. Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. Penguin Random House, 2020.
Exploration of the natural rhythms of rest and renewal and their role in personal growth.
3.) Burkeman, Oliver. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2021.
Emphasis on “neglecting the right things” as a cornerstone of effective time management.
4.) American Psychological Association. The Science of Breaks and Productivity. 2019.
Research on how breaks replenish attention and motivation, improving overall performance. (apa.org)
5.) Corporate Wellness Magazine. The Science Behind Work Breaks and Productivity.
Findings on how strategic pauses enhance productivity and mental acuity. (corporatewellnessmagazine.com)
6.) Fat bear week! Fat Bear Week 2024 - Katmai National Park & Preserve (U.S. National Park Service)